1: Xiaofang always wants to buy a car, but her father always disagrees. I told her today at work: I decided to pay for a car for her. She was ecstatic and grateful beyond words, but then she lowered her head, took my hand and blushed, and said, "What is necessary for me to be so good?" I caressed her little hand: Of course. First, please ask me to eat dumplings at noon; second, you must work with peace of mind when you have a car; third, I only buy a car, you can buy two 5 A batteries inside.
2: On the side of the road, when the old man met a Gua Gua, he politely said to the old man, old man, give me a Gua Gua. The old man refused me and said, "Young man, I don't do your business, you have no money." When I touched my pocket, the wallet disappeared, and I said to the five-body vote admired by the old man: Oh, living god, rudeness! Why are you so accurate? The old man with the finger said Dongfang: Steal your wallet and run away, go chase Bikachu!
3: I had a dream since I was young: I went to a key high school as a physical education teacher. No class, paychecks, winter and summer vacations, and legal holidays. I make a cup of tea every day and wait for other teachers to come to me to change classes. The whole school teacher owes me kindness. Haha.
4: In the hotel, a guest boasted that there was a relationship in the lounge. There was something that could not be done. For this kind of person, everyone was bored. One person teased him: "You talk about what you can't do. Come on, I'll do it for you! "Said the guest," I can't afford the rent. "
5: In the morning, I sent my son to school. On the way, I met my mother at the table. She touched my son's head and exclaimed: "Your son is both obedient and good at learning." I said politely, "Where your son is doing better." We said goodbye to a few words. Seeing the mother at the same table go far away, the son said unhappy: "Dad, people are not bragging about you, why are you humble?"
6: The buns in the university cafeteria are very delicious, so I will buy a lot at a time. When I went there recently, the aunt who sold buns came and said, "How come I haven't seen you come in lately, isn't the buns bad?" I : ...
7: Xiaoming met the goddess at the entrance of the classroom and wanted to talk to the goddess, but she was so nervous that she couldn't talk. Because of being a long time, I finally got up the courage and stepped forward and said to the goddess: I'll take you home. The goddess replied: No, I wait for my boyfriend. Xiao Ming pumped his head and said, "Let me take you home!"
8: The female colleague accompanied the boss and was promoted. I was inspired. I made the female boss very happy every day. I didn't expect me to be promoted. . .
9: Going to a blind date, and talking to the girl very well, is that the matchmaker is restless, watching the time from time to time. After a while, the matchmaker went to the toilet, and the girl stood up and left. I was busy asking for my phone number and information. The girl laughed and said, "You are a good person, I don't lie to you. This matchmaker is My mother-in-law, the girl whom I originally asked you to go with others, my mother-in-law does not want to smash signboards or miss red envelopes, so I am here ...
10: Double 11 people do not buy things, they will overstock. The product will be unsaleable, the factory will have no orders, the factory will be closed without an order, the factory closure boss will run with his little sister, and the employees will go to the warehouse to sell the original price for more than one hundred, two hundred, three hundred The products were sold outside for only 20 yuan. At that time, it was really low. Remember, remember. . .
11: Wife: Husband, I want to eat apples, wash me a husband: I won't go! Wife: Do you dare to listen to your mother? Husband: I'm not voice-activated! The wife slaps and the husband goes obediently. Wife laughed: Sample, it turned out to be touch screen!
12: During the second year of high school, there was a period of playing cards in the dormitory for a long time. Every day, the dormitory played late at night. The eight people in the dormitory only needed one buddy not to play. One day, we played seven games. Was arrested, but the buddy had not awakened, and the building manager gave him a slap: what the fuck are you pretending to be! Do you think this is over, then the buddies got up asleep and woke up to work with the floor management, some of us could not pull it! !! !!
13: Late at work, I went out of the corridor and drove the battery car. I found that the trash can was lying on the side of the road, and three piles of garbage were scattered beside it. As soon as I rode the bicycle, I heard Uncle Cleaner calling: I went in and got a few bags. Who put the plastic bottles, paper shells and garbage bins that I divided? ?
14: Chess at the gate of the small park with a grandpa, surrounded by a circle of people watching lively. My grandfather and I had a small dispute over a controversial chess piece. Then, the two old men in the crowd beside each other quarreled because of the right and wrong of my uncle and chess. . .
15: I did n’t drink Coke when I was a kid. Once, my dad took a bottle outside and said it was a drink. I felt that the drink was still black. I was very curious. I could n’t wait to pour a glass to drink. I looked in horror at the white foamy drink, and threw myself to the ground: Dad! What did i do wrong? I'm still young.